The Promise
by Emiko the Princess
Summary: AU - High school student Matt has his life pulled out from underneath him and turned completely around when a certain chocolate craving bad boy Mello enters his life. School pretty boy, Light has his school rankings to deal with when Mellos older brother Lawliet tries to take him down a notch. How will everyone deal with the sudden change in thier lives? (WARNING: YAOI & LEMONS)
1. His Strawberry

**Hey there readers!**

**This is my first chapter to my first EVER fanfic and im super happy about it**

**I just want to give a general warning for FUTURE LEMONS, FOUL LANGUAGE (A.K.A Mello), and YAOI / BOY X BOY**

**Thanks for reading! I encourage comments! I really don't mind constructive criticism but there is a differenve between that a just being plain rude**

**Disclaimer- I don't own death note or its characters :(**

**I hope you enjoy! I'm also very sorry for overlooked spelling mistakes!**

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I felt a warm tingling feeling in my nose, followed by a warm liquid run down my lip. I lifted my hand bringing it to wipe my lip, and when I moved my hand back down it was now stained with blood. My head was throbbing and my legs started to collapse from underneath me, sending me backwards, hitting my head on the row of lockers behind me. I shifted my gaze from the floor to the dark pair of eyes staring down at me. Those blood curdling eyes belonged to the school neanderthal, Jackson Hughes. I felt my whole body shudder when a sudden burst of laughter came over him.

"Wow…I mean I knew you were weak but DAMN! This is just too pathetic"

I don't know what spontaneously possessed me but the pain fled my entire body being replaced by uncontrollable anger. And before I could stop myself I was lunging towards the muscular bully, putting my entire weight into my right arms' balled up fist. Although my efforts seemed wasted because this didn't even phase the man who just stepped to his left, dodging my punch entirely.

"Oh looky here it looks like the techno twerp has some fight left in him"

I was about to reply to his distasteful comment when I felt a sharp pain in my gut.

'wait when did he punch me? If he keeps fighting like this I won't live to see tomorrow!'

I was just about to just give up….and not just on the fight but with life in general. Hi my name is Mail Jeevas I'm 16 years old and a junior at Desunōto High School, and my life is worth jack shit. I grew up in an opulent lifestyle, living in a mansion with two doting and devoted parents who had good political jobs. On top of that I'm an only child so I've been spoiled senseless by my parents since day one. And I know what you're thinking 'how can this guy be so fortunate and still be depressed?' and do you know what my reply is? My reply is simply 'FUCK OFF' like seriously, people who think just because others in the world may have it worse than you that you have to suck up all the crap in your life and be grateful for what you have.

But how the hell could I be happy with my life when my daily schedule consists of this jackass Jackson beating the shit out of me. And not only is it the daily beatings but it's also the fact that I'm the social outcast who is simultaneously a nerd with a horrible smoking habit. I mean it's not my fault that I'm excellent with technology and that as far as class rankings go I'm third, to some weird kids named Near and Light or something.

The pain in my stomach was beginning to become unbearable so I decided to suck up my pride and let my knees buckle so I could just lie on the ground and pray that this beating is quicker than the others. My eyelids felt heavy and I was about to give into them when I heard a low growl emerge from a blurry figure behind Jackson.

"Who the hell are you?" I heard Jackson spit out at the mysterious figure.

"That's none of your damn business now is it?" I heard a soothing unfamiliar voice respond with a clear irritation in it, as if the figure standing behind Jackson was more concerned about their boredom then the person being beaten within inches of their life in front of him. "All you need to know is that I'm new…and trust me you don't wanna get to know me, especially when I'm angry." The voice continued.

"If I were you I wouldn't be so cocky newbie! My name is Jackson Hughes and I run this school, so if I were you I would just run along and forget what you saw or else you'll regret it." He said with a hint of amusement in his voice.

"Trust me I'm no hero and I don't give a shit about the red haired geek you're beating up right now but it seems that the locker you're beating him up on is mine. And I've been having an extra crappy day today so take this damn fight somewhere else!"

"How dare you spe-"

And just like that the huge muscled man who has bullied me since day one of high school was on the ground. The mysterious shadowed figure had taken down this bozo in one swift kick in the face. My face started to sting and I couldn't tell if I was about to burst into tears or into laughter, but before my mind could make the decision my chemistry teacher appeared out from nowhere.

"What is goi-"

My teacher's eyes got noticeably wider as he stared at the blood soaked scene before him.

"H-how…d-did…..this happen?" was all the teacher was able to mutter

All three of us stayed silent knowing better than to reply to the teacher.

"Fine. If no one will talk then I guess I'm going to just have to give all three of you detention today." The chemistry teacher managed to say after a couple of more minutes of silence.

...

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful other than the occasional fist fight between delinquents; I mean the school I go to doesn't exactly have the best or nicest reputation. I was lost in thought for a while when I heard the bell ring, it was the part of the day I had been dreading…time for detention.

I walked into the detention room (yeah that's right our school is so bad that we have a separate class just for detention) and I felt a sudden shiver run up my spine when my eyes meet ice cold blue orbs, suddenly I found myself glaring at the 'not so much more' mysterious figure. The boy I was staring at had bright blonde hair almost reaching his shoulders with bangs that managed to conceal part of his face. He was dressed in leather from head to toe, not wearing a shirt but a tight fighting vest along with pants that seemed to fight him like a second layer of skin rather than actual cloth. The light seemed to shimmer off his silver belt buckle, which was obviously there just for show due to the fact that his pants could never fall off him with them being so tight. Then my eyes started wondering over his chest seeing long rosary. I was utterly confused 'how could the guy who just monkey kicked the strongest dude at the school also be a Christian?'

My inner monologue was the disrupted by a loud booming voice.

"What the hell are you staring at strawberry?...Take a picture it'll last longer!" the blonde boy barked and then proceeded to take out a chocolate bar and start taking huge bites out of it.

I felt my face start to heat up after his comment, but I fought it knowing that I would only anger him mo-….. 'Wait a damn second! Did he just call me strawberry?' after a long pause I decided I had to respond to him or else he would start to think I was mute.

"Did you just call me strawberry?" I managed to say after a while of awkward silence. It took everything in me not to stutter, but I knew that I couldn't show weakness in front of him.

"Well yeah" he stated matter of factly "your hair is red isn't it? And either way you have no right to question _me_! I was the one who saved your sorry ass today."

"…u-um yeah …t-thanks for that" I couldn't hold in the stutters after that

"Whatever. Just don't strain yourself there" he snorted with an amused look on his face.

I was saved from any more stomach wrenching communication with this guy when my physics teacher from earlier entered the room followed by Jackson who was noticeably pissed. "Okay guys it seems it's just you three in detention today, and I want to be here about as much as you guys do. So let me tell you what's going to happen, I'm going to leave the room and go get some coffee and do work. I don't care if you guys talk or play bored games or whatever, but I don't want you guys breaking anything and no fighting WHATSOEVER! I will return to the classroom when your time is up and then you will be dismissed. Do I make myself clear?" my teacher seemed annoyed at with the entire student body when he gave us this speech. We were all pretty shocked at this teachers lack of caring when it came to detention (not that I'm complaining) so we all just bobbed our heads up and down in understanding. And with that my teacher fled the classroom, leaving me with an uneasy feeling.

After a couple moments of silence Jackson finally decided to break it "You know what! This is all your fault you leather wearing homo! If you hadn't interfered in my fun I wouldn't be here now!"

I expected the blonde boy to kill Jackson on the spot. I mean you could still see Jackson's dried blood from the kick earlier on the tip of the mysterious guys knee high leather boots. But his reaction was the complete opposite.

The blonde boy started to lowly chuckle and then responded when he finally caught his breath "First of all I wasn't the one senselessly beating the nerd over there into a pulp so how in the world is it my fault? Second of all leather is fucking amazing and you don't know what the hell you're missing. Lastly what right do you have to call me a homo? I mean sure I might have saved that scrawny guys ass but that doesn't mean I like him or anything, you were beating him up on _my _fucking locker! What else was I supposed to do? Anyways if anything you're the homo! You seemed to enjoy putting your hands all over Strawberry over there. And by judging all the scars and bruises he has it seems that you beat him often, which only just proves that you are in fact the gay one."

I swear my faces color started to match the color of my bright red hair as I slowly processed the words coming out of the blonde's mouth. Then that feeling was replaced by anger when I realized that they were talking about me like I wasn't even in the room. My anger was interrupted when I heard the legs of a chair screech against the floor. When I looked over to the cause of the noise I saw Jackson rise from his chair; clenching his fits giving the blonde a glare so intense that I about fell out of my own chair.

"What did you just say?" Jackson screamed across the room, practically foaming at the mouth.

"You heard me! But now that I think about it you are a meat head jock, so your tiny brain might not have been able to contemplate the words coming out of my mouth. And for that I apologize, that was a mistake on my part. Let me summarize what I just said in terms even you might understand. THIS NOT MY FAULT…LEATHER IS AMAZING…I NOT GAY…YOU _ARE _GAY!"

I tried containing the laughter bubbling up my throat not wanting to be Jackson's new target to unleash his frustration on. I just sat back in amazement, gaping at the mysterious blondes' courage against the large muscular jock. I then looked between the two men sizing them up. At first glance the blonde definitely looked way more intimidating compared to Jackson, but height wise Jackson had the blonde beat. Jackson was 6'4" towering over the blonde, who seemed to be only 5'7" and with that realization I found myself suddenly fearing for the blondes' life. I looked even more closely and saw that the blonde wasn't that built, I mean don't get me wrong he has muscles (a lot more muscle than me anyway) but Jacksons biceps were almost the size of my head. 'Was that kick the blonde delivered earlier just a fluke?' I decided to push all my negative thoughts to the back of my mind knowing that there was no point in worrying now. Before I could respond to the situation before me at all I saw a flash before my eyes. I came to my senses realizing that streak of light was Jackson, who was now running towards the blonde at full force.

Jackson's actions not only surprised me but seemed to startle the blonde as well, but before he could do anything Jackson had pushed the blonde out of his chair and was now on top of him straddling him against the floor.

"What did I say? Now you're just making it obvious that you're gay by straddling me on the floor like this." The blonde remarked when he caught his breath after having the wind knocked out of him from the impact with the ground.

"You're gonna regret saying that! I'm gonna make you my bitch now! You're gonna be begging for your life in couple of minutes." And with that Jackson pulled his fist back sending it strait into the blondes' cheek.

Jacksons comment seemed to really piss the blonde off more than the actual punch itself. I mean the blondes' facial expression was already cold and menacing before, but now he seemed to radiate a look that would send even the devil running away with his tail in between his legs. "I'm nobody's fucking bitch! And the only one who's is going to be begging is you! And _when _you start begging then I _might _consider sparing your pitiful excuse for a life!" then all of a sudden the blonde managed to flip their positions and sent waves of punches Jacksons way.

Jackson only seemed to be able to doge a few, but most of them hit him instantly. At one point I heard a cracking sound coming from Jacksons face followed by a whimper leaving his blood stained lips.

"Now, now Mr. Meat Head Jock you wouldn't want to make too much noise now would you? Someone might hear your cries for help and spoil my fun." The blonde guy was practically singing these words obviously happy with the fact that Jackson was close to tears.

I might hate Jacksons guts and I might have gotten a little joy from this…okay maybe A LOT of joy, but that doesn't meant that he deserves to be killed by the deranged blonde lunatic. I did something that surprised even me; I got up from my chair and started to approach both of the boys. By the time I reached both of them the blonde was still punching Jackson who seemed to be losing consciousness by this point. I wasn't sure what to do, and I doubted that the blonde would be able to hear me protest since Jacksons cries were too loud to heard over. So I decided to risk my life and thought that direct contact should get his attention.

As I lifted my hand I could see it visibly shaking through the air. I placed my hand on the blondes' shoulder griping it as tight as I could, trying to get him out of his blood lusting condition. His fist froze midair when he felt the weight of my hand on his shoulder. The blonde slowly turned his head his eyes meeting mine for the second time today. We were in this position for a couple of moments before I decided that I should explain myself before he beat me to a bloody pulp.

"I-I think h-he has had enough?" I said but I realized that my statement had sounded more like a question.

"He's done when I say he's done!" he growled

"I hate that jock just as much as the next guy…but you should stop before you seriously hurt him. I don't want to see you get suspended on your first day of school." I said and tried to put on my most reassuring smile.

"Why would you care whether I got suspended from school or not?" He replied trying to hide the fact that he was confused by my actions.

"W-well because you saved me earlier today and that means I'm in your debt. And how am I supposed to repay my debt when you're not at school? I'm not the kind of guy who doesn't repay his debts." I was surprised that I was able to come up with a story that easily, especially when facing a person as scary as the blonde boy in front of me.

The blonde just seemed to smile a wicked smile sending shivers up my spine "Oh you're in my debt are you?" he got up off of Jackson and brushed his pants off then returned his gaze back up to mine "fine I will leave this meat head alone for now, but know that soon I will collect on that debt of yours."

The blonde then strode back to his desk leaving Jackson on the floor surrounded by blood, and I just stood there like a confused lost puppy. When I finally regained my composure I just used my remaining strength to return to my desk and plop down in my chair. My fingers fumbled in my pockets searching for my cigarette pack and my lighter. I needed my cigarette fix and once I took a drag I felt the calmest I had felt all day.

"That is disgusting" The blonde muttered. I looked over at him and he just returned a nauseated look.

"It's a bad habit of mine. It's the only way I can feel calm, and after the performance you just put on I really need it."

"Oh wow it looks like the cigarette also manages to give you a pair of balls because you were actually able to speak to me without stuttering or shaking." He said with an amused smirk covering his face.

"Yeah I guess….so what is your name? I mean I think it's only fair that I know the name of the person I'm in debited to." I was a little uneasy at asking this question not knowing how the blonde would react.

"Mihael Keehl, but I hate my name so just call me Mello."

When he said that I finally lost any composure I had. I was now hunched over my desk grabbing my stomach with my free hand that wasn't holding my cigarette and burst out into laughter.

"What's so funny?" Mello yelled, obviously not amused by my reaction.

"I'm sorry but your name is just hilariously ironic because you're most non-mello person I have ever met" I said with a smile on my face once I was done laughing "and my name is Mail Jeevas and I also hate my name so people just call me Matt."

"Well I'm glad that my name was able to amuse you" Mello sarcastically replied "and I think I'm just going to stick with my name for you and call you Strawberry."

I lowered my head trying to fight the blush starting to appear on my cheeks 'damn, that's the second time today he's made me blush.'

After a half an hour of silence I realized detention would be over soon, and I looked over to the ground to see Jackson still lying there holding his face and trying to wipe the blood away with his shirt sleeve.

"Um…h-hey Mello?" I asked mentally slapping myself for stuttering

"What."

"D-don't you think w-we should…you know…help J-Jackson out before the teacher gets back?"

"…Why the hell would I help out that meat head?" Mello snapped no longer holding back his irritation.

I gulped, noting the fact that it was very audible. I started praying to myself hoping that Mello would spare my life after the next few words came out of my mouth…because I knew he would definitely not like what I was about to say. "Well I know that you would just love nothing more than to get detention again so we could hang out more, but maybe we should help him out, because I know you would eventually get sick of me." My hands were shaking in my lap when I tried to give him my best playful smirk and roll my eyes just for good measure so he would understand I was just messing with him so I could lighten the mood.

He quickly shifted his face away from mine to look out the window and then he let out a low heart numbing chuckle. "You wish that you were able to hang with someone as amazing as me."

Mellos' reaction had genuinely shocked me. He shifted his gaze from the window back to me, and I felt my heart stop when his passionate blue eyes met mine. I could tell that my surprised reaction was noticeable because right when he saw my face het out another laugh.

"Watch yourself there Strawberry you're gonna catch flies if you leave your mouth hanging open like that." Mello said after he was done laughing at my expense.

Before I could reply or even process the sweet words coming out of his mouth, we were rudely interrupted by a guy who seemed to just have a death wish or maybe he just had a big pair of balls to talk to Mello the way he did.

"Both of you dorks are going to make me puke all over myself if you don't stop flirting like the pair of homos you are." Jackson said with a shaky voice, still recovering from Mello's beating.

When I heard what Jackson said I could feel my entire face pale, and I know what you thinking 'I thought for sure that Matt would start blushing like the idiot he is after hearing someone say that he was flirting with Mello!' and you know what, if someone said that same thing to me and some other person who wasn't Mello, I probably would be blushing. But that wasn't the case, because that other person _was_ Mello…and the reason I paled is because I knew that Mello was going to kill Jackson this time, and there was nothing I could do about it.

I whipped my head around trying to give Mello a pleading look, begging him to not beat Jackson senseless. But what I saw had completely taken me aback. What I saw was a calm Mello, who was just sitting in his chair eating his second chocolate bar.

"You can stop staring at me now Strawberry!" Mello said to me with a slight smirk starting to pull the corner of his lips up."

"S-Sorry…M-Mello…..I j-just thought that y-you were gonna kill him or something…" Suddenly I felt very stupid for even thinking that, but I mean who could blame me. I mean I've known him only for like an hour but he doesn't exactly strike me as the person with complete self-control.

"Wow it's nice to know that you think so highly of me." Mello spat with sarcasm radiating off his words.

"…I'm sorry I shouldn't have come up with stupid assumptions like that…but just so you know I don't think lowly of you….. like you said earlier today, your really did save my sorry ass from that meat head jock."

After that my heart stopped immediately when I saw a faint color of pink come to Mellos' cheeks, but sadly the color left as soon as it appeared. 'Did he just blush? No of course not…he would never….I must just be imagining things.'

"Well I think very lowly of you…" Mello said as he turned his head away from me and started to stare out the window again.

"I'm not very surprised…I mean the first time we met you watched me get the shit beaten out of me. On top of that you saw how I have a horrible smoking habit, and I constantly get looked down upon by everybody. But it's okay, because I'm used to people have low opinions of me so I'm really not that offended." Although I would be lying if I said that Mellos' words didn't sting a little more than other peoples insults, but I wasn't about to share that fact with him.

And before I could say anything else I felt two strong hands pull me up out of my seat gripping my shoulders with great intensity. And then I found myself staring back into the ice cold orbs with fury written all over them.

"You know what pisses me off Matt?" I couldn't believe what was happening; Mello had a death grip on my shoulders pulling me up inches away from his face. I was too stunned at his actions to even realize that that was the first time he had used my real name. "What pisses me off is when people who have had to constantly deal with shit their entire lives just give up after a while and lie over and start taking the beating that has been given to them! Don't think for a second that I actually care about your feelings or what happens to you, but you need to suck it up and stop being such a pussy! I don't care if you end up losing the battle but you better not go down without a fight! Do you understand?"

"Hey…calm down all I meant was that I'm used to people saying shit about me….alright? I never said anything about giving up." I could barely say the words without them coming out choked.

"Don't you dare lie to me you little fucker! You're really starting to piss me off! You might not have said those words verbatim but I know for a fact that you're on the brink of giving everything up! I've seen that look before!"

Before I could try to tell Mello otherwise, he loosened his grip on me and practically slammed me down into my seat. He started to stomp over back over to his chair with a silent fury.

"You know what? Go ahead and give up…see if I care." Mello growled as he settled back into his seat.

I could feel tears starting to tug at my eyes I quickly wiped them away and tried to regain my composure. "I'm sorry…..you are right…I am close to giving up….I promise I won't lose without a fight though…" I managed to say in a voice barely above a whisper. I had no idea what made me promise something so big to a person I just met, but I felt that I had to and if I hadn't that it would only hurt me.

The rest of detention was spent in complete silence, with the occasional shuffle when Jackson had gotten up from the ground and went to the bathroom to clean off all the blood from his face. I was surprised and relieved to see that most of the swelling had gone away.

I was starting to fall asleep when I heard the door to the classroom fling open followed by the tired looking physics teacher. "Okay guys detention is over, please try to stay out of tro-…Jackson what happened to your face?" Jackson just shifted in his seat not really sure how to respond but before he could the physics teacher just sighed and continued to talk "You know what! I don't think I really care, just all of you get out of my sight."

He didn't have to tell me twice. I collected my stuff and bolted out the door followed by Mello and Jackson. The walk to the parking lot was a little awkward because Jackson seemed to walk in a different direction while Mello and I were left alone walking the same way.

"You following me or something?" Mello asked breaking the awkward silence.

"N-No my cars just apparently parked in the same direction as yours."

He just scoffed at my remarked, and we continued to walk. I saw my beautiful red 1968 Chevrolet Camaro RS/SS start to appear in the distance, parked next to a beautiful black motorcycle that wasn't there this morning. As I approached my car I could see Mello start to get on said motorcycle and I realized that it fit his personality so well. My thoughts were once again interrupted when I reached for the door handle and I heard Mellos' voice reach me ear.

"Hey what are you doing? Are you trying to steal that car or something?" Mello questioned with a confused look on his face.

"Um no…this is my car…" I said unsure why he would ask a question like that.

"WHAT!? SERIOUSLY!" and with that Mello hoped back off his motorcycle and ran over to me and punched me in the arm. I could tell the punch was meant to be playful and he held back his strength but I still hurt like crazy.

"Um yeah it's a 1968 Chevrolet Camaro RS/SS" I replied while rubbing the spot on my arm where he punched me.

"Strawberry it looks like you've been holding out on me! You must be loaded to be able to afford a car like this!" his playful expression quickly turned into anger as he furrowed his eyebrows "Hey if you are rich then why the hell are you so fucking depressed?"

"Um I don't recall ever telling you I was depressed and my money is none of your business!" I yelled

"Calm your tits Strawberry! I was just curious…..anyways you definitely need to give me a ride sometime because damn that is one sweet looking car!"

I felt the heat return to my cheeks for the third time that day. "Thanks, that means a lot! This car is kind of my pride and joy. And like I said before I'm in your debt so I could give you a ride whenever you want! Also your motorcycle isn't bad looking either and it couldn't have been cheap."

"Trust me it wasn't" Mello said with a proud smirk covering his face.

"Okay well I better get going…b-but maybe we s-should…..exchange numbers and you can c-call me whenever you feel like getting a ride so you can test out my car."

'Did I just really ask for his number…oh god I must look like a babbling dork right now.' I was mentally punching myself at this point.

Mello just nodded and took out his phone and handed it to me, and I followed his actions.

The ride home was boring and as soon as I got home all I could do was fall into my bed with uncontrollable thoughts of the angry blonde I had met today.

"This is going to be interesting…" I whispered to myself as I drifted into a deep sleep.

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**Well that was chapter 1 and once again I'm sorry for any typos!**

**I hope you liked it! :)**

**Feel free to leave comments and suggestions **

**I will try to post a new chapter whenever I can and as soon as possible!**


	2. Brothers

**Bonjour! **

**Let me start off by saying sorry! This chapter wasn't as long as I was hoping and it took longer to update than I would have liked**

**Sorry for any spelling mistakes**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note or any of its characters**

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**Also, all you're comments you left last chapter filled my heart with joy so THANK YOU! **

**I love you guys :)**

**Enjoy...**

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It's been two weeks since I had detention with Mello, and I've started to notice that whenever my mind goes blank I automatically start thinking about the leather wearing bad boy. And really who could blame me, I mean ever since he came to school that day people have not stopped talking about him. Whenever you're in the hallway you hear people whisper about how he's been arrested multiple times, deals drugs, and how he owns a gun. Even though I only knew him for about an hour those rumors don't exactly shock me, but I also don't think most of them are true. But there are two rumors in particular that I know for a fact are true and they actually surprised me when I found out. First was that even though he might look like an intimidating guy who couldn't give a fuck about school he actually took my place on the school rankings and some other new kid Lawliet is now tied for first with Light. Now I rank four (or 4.5) instead of three. Second is that he started his own little in school 'gang.' And guess who his right hand man is?...it's that jackass Jackson Hughes.

After the first week had gone by from having detention I was honestly offended when he never texted or called me to ask for a ride. I know what you're about to say 'why didn't you just stop being a pussy and call him up yourself?' well I didn't call him because I don't have the nerve to face him especially when I could be rejected. When the second week passed I had just given up all hope and just assumed that him giving me his number was just a mistake for him. Although I can't help but wonder if Mello has anything to do with the fact that Jackson hasn't beaten me up once since the day we all got detention. I just chalked that up to the fact that Jackson and Mello are too busy arguing all the time since they work with each other know, and Jackson has just forgotten about me (and trust me I'm not complaining).

The last bell of the day brought me out of my train of thoughts about the temperamental blonde, and I was half way down the hallway when I hit a hard surface immediately knocking me to the ground. I was about to get up and apologize when I looked up slightly to see a familiar pair of leather boots…I could feel my breath hitch in my throat.

"You're gonna regret bumping into me fucktard" Mello barked as he shut his eyes to rub his head with the palm of his hand.

"O-Oh I'm s-so sorry M-Mello! I w-wasn't watching where I was going" Okay so if you ever met me you would say strait away that I have no emotion or depth, but whenever I here this blonde talk I turn into a blabbering mess, and that just pisses me off.

"You should be sorry you idio-" I couldn't read Mellos' facial expressions seeing that I haven't looked up since I bumped into him, but I could tell by his voice that he was shocked to see me. "Wait a second I know you! That's right you're that Strawberry kid!"

I could feel Mellos mood lighten drastically so I decided that I should finally look up…oh boy was that a mistake. He was wearing black skinny jeans, a white t-shirt, leather fingerless gloves, his leather boots from last week…and a grey fucking sweater! When I saw the loose sweater hang over his body's frame I completely lost it.

"Yeah it's me…"

'Yeah it's me. Yeah. It's. Me. YEAH IT'S ME? Is that all I could fucking say? Mental note to self, go back to first grade to learn how to correctly speak and respond to people.'

"Well I can see that." He gave me a weird look then stretched his arm out to me.

My body just froze. 'WHAT THE HELL DO I DO?' After a second of fighting with myself I finally decided that I should respond so I don't look like a bigger fool than I already do. When I grabbed his hand it felt warm but firm at the same time and I couldn't help but smile like an idiot. But what I wasn't expecting was him to be so forceful, he pulled me off the floor with ease sending me flying up and then I did the unthinkable…I tripped over myself. 'I tripped over my fucking self! Like how do you even do that?' My entire body started to fall forward and before I knew it I was grabbing both of Mello's shoulders for support and I fell into his chest. As soon as I could use both of my feel I immediately pulled away from him.

"….S-Sorry I lost my balance for a second…" I had felt completely and utterly embarrassed but what made my heart pound even harder was the fact that Mello seemed the tiniest bit flustered.

"Yeah whatever. I guess it was my fault a little, I just forget about how strong I am sometimes." Mello chided while he started to flex and flash a cocky smile. I was so relieved at the fact that at least one of us was trying to lighten the mood a little.

"Yeah okay whatever lets you sleep at night Hercules" I don't know where my new found confidence was coming from but I decided that I might as well roll with and then reprimand myself for it later. "So I never got that call from you. I was starting to feel offended, like you didn't think that my car wasn't good enough for you or something." 'Wait did that sound like I was flirting?'

"What?...oh yeah I completely forgot about that for a second." With those words I felt my heart sink in my chest. "But I had walked to school today because my bikes in the shop right now cause I got into an accident like nine days ago, so you could give me a ride home if you want." I was about to burst from happiness but when I fully processed his statement I felt like a jerk. 'He had gotten into a motorcycle crash?' What was I thinking of course he wasn't going to be thinking about me or getting to use my car when he had been in a serious and traumatic accident.

"Oh my god! I had no idea! What happened? Are you alright?" I had no idea why I was so concerned about him, but I'm just gonna go with that I'm a very curious individual.

"Yeah I'm fine there's no reason to freak out or cry over me Strawberry. I just wasn't paying attention to the road and before I knew it I was flying off my bike, but I somehow managed to come out unscathed. It just comes to show how leather is beneficial for your health and can protect you." He said this obviously proud with the fact that he wears so much leather.

"Well I'm glad you're okay." I said, not knowing what else to say at the moment.

"Tch! Like a motorcycle could ever defeat Mello! I've gone through too much shit to be defeated that easily!"

"Wow…are you sure you didn't hit your head because it seems that you're ego has blown up to the point of talking in third person?" I said jokingly while putting the back of my hand against his forehead. As soon as I realized that I was making contact with his skin I abruptly pulled away, and gave him a nervous laugh. He seemed to buy it because he just kept talking.

"Whatever Strawberry! Let's just get going! The sooner I can get out of this hell hole the better!" he said and started to head for the schools front doors with me following him.

When we got to the car he took a moment to stroke its hood and then hoped into the car.

After ten minutes of following Mello's half assed directions to his house we finally arrived at an apartment complex. We sat in the car for a second while I slowly took in my surroundings. I wasn't used to being in the bad part of the neighborhood and to say I was nervous would have been an understatement.

"You okay Strawberry? You look like you're about to shit yourself" Mello said breaking me out of my trance.

"Yeah I'm fine. You could just say that I'm not used to being in this part of the neighborhood"

"Ah I see you're used to being surrounded by mansions and butlers." Mello snorted.

"…no that's not it…..it's just that this place doesn't have a good reputation. I heard some kids got mugged and killed here."

"Oh please! The way you drive I'm surprised you haven't been killed already!" Mello said looking at me with disbelief.

"Well I am a bit of a reckless driver." I let out a low chuckle, glad that the mood wasn't so serious anymore.

"Um I would call your driving chaotic not "reckless". Anyways I should get going now; my brother will be waiting for me now."

"Yeah." I said nervously. I should just ask him already. Okay I'm just gonna spit it out and rip it off like a band aid, here goes nothing…

"U-um Mello..." I said as he was about to close the door to my car.

"Strawberry?" Mello said obviously mocking my nervousness in the situation.

"I was wondering…since your bike was in the shop…if you needed a ride tomorrow…I think I heard it was gonna rain or something."

"Well I don't mind the rain and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't melt…..but on the bright side if I rode with you in the morning there is a chance I would get killed from your driving and then I wouldn't have to take my calculus test…..so I guess you can give me a ride tomorrow." And with that Mello thanked me and started walking away, leaving me in the car smiling like I just won the lottery.

...

I quickly covered my eyes with the back of my arm when I felt the sun starting to creep through the blinds in my room. After a couple of minutes of just lying in my bed dreading school I decided that I should finally get up, after all today was special. Today, I was going to give Mello a ride to school. I pulled over a white and black stripped shirt, a pair of black jeans, and black converse. I was practically running to my car when my mom stopped me.

"Good morning sweetie" my mom was reading a magazine at the kitchen table while our personal chef was cooking breakfast. She hadn't noticed I was in a hurry until she looked up from her magazine to tell the chef to put salmon in her omelet. "Uh…Mattie why are you in a rush? You still have about twenty minutes left before you have to go."

"Well I sort of told one of my…u-ummm…..peers….that I would give him a ride to school today." I said not sure how to exactly classify me and Mello's relationship.

"You made a new friend!? Oh that's just wonderful Mattie! You should tell him to come over! Oh do I know him? What's his name?"

"Um I guess you could say that…and I don't think I'm gonna be bringing him around anytime soon. And his name is Mihael Keehl or Mello and he's new to the school."

"…wait Mihael Keehl?..." My mom's happy expression quickly turned to one of worry and regret.

"Yeah, do you know him?" I was starting to get really confused at my mom's reaction.

"Well….I kind of know his fam-….." my mom had stopped mid-sentence and looked down at her hands that were on the table. I was about to ask her what was wrong but she started to talk again before I could. "You know what it doesn't matter, it's getting late you better go pick him up before you don't make it to school." My mom said trying to fix her facial features back into a happy expression.

I would have protested and demand her tell me why she was being so ominous but I looked at the time and realized I had to leave now to make it to his apartment on time. The entire car ride to his house I couldn't help but fidget in my seat and my heart felt like it was going to jump right out of my chest. I was also hoping that the blonde was in an okay mood because he is usually very irritable and I'm sure it being 7:20 in the morning wouldn't help him.

When I arrived at the complex I parked and texted him, praying that he would get the text or else I would just be hanging outside the apartments like a stalker. I felt relief spread throughout my entire body when I got a reply to the text two minutes after, simply stating 'K' well I guess that's Mello for you.

After another couple of minutes a dark figure with lengthy blonde hair emerged from the elevator in the parking garage. Sadly I seemed to be correct about my assumption of him not being a morning person. He sauntered towards my car with a grim facial expression. Mello slid in the car giving me an acknowledging grunt.

"Good-morning sleepy head" I said in my most enthusiastic tone, hoping it would rub off on him.

"Ya…" is all I got in response.

The car ride to the school was pretty uneventful other than small talk from my end and the occasional grunt from Mello. It might not have been the ice breaking, friendship starting car ride I was hoping for, but I guess it had been something. We were pulling up into the schools parking lot, and as we got out of the car I suddenly felt extremely uncomfortable. I felt every single eye in the parking lot immediately shift to watch me and Mello get out of the car. What made matters even worse was that people started whispering and I looked over at Mello who had a dangerous look in his eye.

"Well it looks like people are real nosy today" I said while shifting uncomfortably in my stride as we walked towards the front doors of the school building.

"Why can't people mind their own fucking business!?" Mello said seething with rage; I can only imagine that the fact that it's early in the morning probably didn't help.

"Well maybe if you hadn't tamed the school idiot and made him your right hand man less people would be staring at you." I spoke even surprising myself with how annoyed I sounded. I looked over to Mello who seemed as shocked as I was at my response. "…by the way when did that jackass become one of your henchmen?" We walked down the hallway some ways before he finally responded.

"A couple of days after we all had detention I guess…."

"Well I figured that much…I meant how were you guys able to tolerate each other enough to the point of him taking orders from you?"

"The next day that bastard had tried to attack me, after that he figured out who was boss" Mello sung with a smug smile.

Before I could get any more details out of him the bell to our first class rang.

"Hey Mello…" I called out to him as he started to walk in the opposite direction to go to his next class.

"Yeah?"

"You should have lunch with me and my friend Near! I think you two geniuses would get along really well!" I was so proud of myself for building up the courage to ask him this. 'How did I not think of this earlier? Mello and Near are bound to get along! This will be perfect! It will give Mello an excuse to sit with us at lunch.'

"Near?...oh yeah he's second in the class rankings…um sure I guess I'll see you at lunch then."

And with that we both walked away to our next classes while he left me smiling like an idiot…again.

...

The smell of cheap packaged food lingered through the air as the deafening sound of babbling drained any coherent thoughts in my head. I pushed through the line to get my food then took my usual seat at my lunch table sitting next to Near as he sat in a slouched position staring off into the distance. We sat in a comfortable silence for a couple of minutes before the memory of my conversation with Mello hit me with an impact of a car crash.

"Oh hey Near you know that new guy who transferred to the school?" I asked still focused on my school lunch. People always wonder why I bother eating the schools food when I was able to afford to purchase an entire restaurant; I always told them that I didn't mind the schools food. That was a complete lie. I just never wanted to actually acknowledge the fact that I'm rich so I lie even to myself and try to live like everyone else.

"Do you mean that over exuberant blonde, who was rumored to have punched his teacher for giving him a bad grade?" Near deadpanned.

I hadn't heard that rumor before but I just shook it off as another falsified story.

"Yeah that's the guy, anyways he will be joining us for lunch today." I said curiously awaiting Nears reply.

"Are you sure that is a good idea? You and I already have a bad reputation at the school and are perceived as what do they call it...oh yes, losers, and eating lunch with a violent social outcast probably won't help." Near said as he twirled a piece of his hair with his thumb and index finger lost in thought "but then again I don't really care what other people with lower IQ's think of me." Near said having a one sided conversation. And as if Mello were on que he walked through the lunch room doors. I wasn't really sure what to do so I awkwardly raised my hand and shook it in his general direction to signal him over, although my hand was shaking so much I'm pretty sure some people thought I was having a stroke. After a couple of seconds of weird arm flailing Mello finally noticed my not so graceful gestures and started walking towards our table. I took 3 deep breaths regaining my ordinarily placid expression.

"Hey Mello, glad you came!" I said giving him a reassuring smile trying not to freak him out and scare him off.

"What up Strawberry" Mello said nonchalantly as he took a seat next to me and directly across from Near.

"Mello this is Near, that guy I was talking about earlier. And Near this is Mel-" and before I could even finish my thought Near rudely interrupted like he normally did.

"Yes I know who this is Mail. He is the new student Mihael who took your place as number 3 on the school rankings." Near said in a cool and controlled tone.

Mello gave me a curious look as I cringed at hearing Near say my real name and then Mello started to do another one of his low throaty chuckles "What seriously Strawberry!? I took your spot; I'm surprised you are still even talking to me."

"It's not like it matters…" I said and by habit I started to reach into my pocket and fumble with my lighter as I did whenever I became nervous. Mello furrowed his eyebrows and before he could open his mouth a fourth person joined the conversation.

"Mello they ran out of cake in the lunch line and all they have left is subpar fish sticks and rotten vegetables…I know you pack extra chocolate bars in your lunch, and it would be much appreciated if you gave me one." A low voice resembling Mello's chimed in.

As I turned around to see the man who had the audacity to speak to Mello like that, who I saw completely awe struck me. A tall slender man stood before me in a slouched position but despite that I could tell he was about 5'9". He had pale skin that seemed to be porcelain, and the light that peaked through the windows of the cafeteria had no problem glimmering off of him almost in an angelic way. I scrutinized every detail of his face seeing dark black bags under his eyes in a sign of exhaustion but they were barely noticeable from how his raven black hair framed his face. The most intriguing part of him was his grey eyes that seemed so blank and miserable and I could relate to that; yet somehow the same eyes radiated something….but I wasn't sure what it was….oh yea…it was passion and determination.

'Who is this guy?'

"L there is no way in hell that I would ever hand over a chocolate bar it doesn't matter that you're my brother, you know how I feel about it."

And as Mello spoke these words I had a complete and utter brain fart.

* * *

**Well that was chapter 2 I really hoped you enjoyed it!**

**I'm sorry this chapter wasn't as long as i wanted it to be, and it took longer to upload than I hoped**

**Feel free to leave comments or suggestions**

**I've already started coming up with ideas for the next chapter! Stay tuned!**

**I'll have it updated as soon as I can**


	3. Can't Help Who You Love

**Well hello there my loves!**

**So I finially came up with a pen name...(DRUM-ROLL)...It's "Emiko"**

**Anyways I'm sorry this chapter took so long to upload! Please forgive me!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own death note or any of its characters :(**

**Please feel free to leave comments or questions, but once again i remind you that there is a difference between constructive criticism and just being plain rude, because I'm only human and I have feelings too! *starts to sing "human" by Christina Perri***

**BTW your comments are what keep me writing! and I love you for them!**

**I apologize in advance for any spelling mistakes**

**Warning: mentions religion and beliefs #sorrynotsorry**

**Enjoy the story :D**

* * *

My head was spinning, trying to fully comprehend the comical scene before me. I watched as Mello was yelling (well actually more like having a temper tantrum) at his so called "brother" that I'm totally calling bull shit on, because I mean really the two boys arguing over a chocolate bar in front of me in the cafeteria were complete opposites. Just looking at them you wouldn't think they would be aquatinted with each other much less related, sure they look nothing alike but that wasn't the true difference between them. I may have only known Mello for a short time but I could already see how passionate he was, and the mysterious so called brother of his had a stolid persona. 'What other skeletons does Mello have in his closet?'

"L, I'm going to say this as calmly as possible...GIVE ME BACK MY FUCKING CHOCOLATE BAR!" With those words Mello started to catch the attention of others at nearby tables.

'Seriously...that was the calmest Mello can be when it comes to chocolate? I think he needs to see an addictions expert. Although I probably shouldn't be talking...'

"I understand that I'm forcing you're hand in this situation Mels, but th-" The man apparently called 'L' said this before Mello interrupted.

"The only thing that's going to be forced, is my foot when I shove it up your ass if I don't get my chocolate bar back! And don't you ever call me Mels in public!" Mello snapped while slightly lifting his foot off the ground as a warning sign that he was ready to follow through on his threat.

I want to help the two brothers but just looking at the two intimidating figures sent warning shivers up and down my spine, obviously a warning to stay the hell out of the conflict unraveling before me. 'I have to stop this...don't I? If I don't who will? Who knows what these guys would resort to...okay...I've made up my mind I'm gonna stop them...' But before I could act on my thoughts God sent an angel to me in the form of Light Yagami to help me in this dire situation.

"Um excuse me guys, I'm Light Yagami student body president. You two must be the new kids in the school I've heard so much about, it's very nice to meet you. I hate to be a buzz kill but as student body president I feel it my duty to inform you that you should probably keep your voices down so you don't disturb the lunches of the other students." Light said as he stopped walking to stand over me next to the table, and both brothers pulled their eyes away from each other to size up the person who just interrupted them. I swore I saw a vein in Mellos' forehead pop out when he saw Light, as if he were repulsed that someone so openly defied him. But before the angry blonde could lash out on the sweater vest wearing school president, L replied to him first.

"It is very nice to meet your acquaintance Light Yagami, and I do apologize for me and my brothers' behavior I assure you it will not happen again. My name is Lawliet Ryuzaki and this is my younger brother Mihael Keehl, but you can just call him Mello." L...I mean Lawliet said, his expression still blank "But we were just arguing over food because I was unable to eat the food that they serve at this school, I mean honestly as student body president shouldn't you do something about that. The food here could easily make someone ill, you should really fix it."

We all sat in silence, even Near was at a loss for words and seemed to be as shocked as everyone else for once. Light the school golden boy was standing there with his mouth gaping like a fish, but it didn't seem to throw him off too much because one second later he was smiling like his usual self like nothing had ever happened.

"You are absolutely right Lawliet and I do apologize on behalf of the school" Light spoke regaining his calm composure.

"Well you can't really blame the school for stuff when the students don't take the initiative." Lawliet said coolly.

"...you're again c-correct, now I can see how I have tied for first on the school rankings." Light Yagami, the schools golden boy has been brought down to long pauses and stuttering. Who exactly is this Lawliet guy? "Lawliet, I can now see that you are a guy with a great deal of intelligence and have many strong opinions and ideas. I think you should come over to my place tonight if you're not busy, I would love to further pick your brain, I think many of your ideas could contribute to student council." Light said with the slightest of smiles. 'Wait what!? Weren't they just subtly arguing with each other a couple of seconds ago?'

"Well that depends, do you have sweets at your house?" Lawliet said as he brought up the tip of his thumb to his mouth.

"It so happens that I have a ton of sweets, so does that mean you will come over?" Light confirmed as he continued to beam and smile.

"Why not." And with that Lawliet turned around and left the cafeteria.

"Well it was nice to meet you Mello and your brother, and please feel free to come to me with any questions you might have about the school." Light gave one last smile and walked back over to his previous table.

"Tsk, what a panty wearing mommas boy" Mello said with a mouth full of chocolate.

"...so Mello..that was your brother? Oh ya and by the way...WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK JUST HAPPENED? AM I THE ONLY PERSON WHO DIDNT FIND WHATEVER JUST HAPPENED EXTREMELY WEIRD!?" I yelled trying to understand what was going on, and managed to bring the attention we had from our classmates earlier back to us.

"Please try to refrain from yelling Mail. Isn't it obvious? What we just saw here was what people refer to as sexual tension." Near said as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

Nears words were followed by a loud choking sound. I looked over to its source and Mello had started to choke in the middle of eating his chocolate bar obviously startled by what Near had said.

"...What the hell did you just say Albino freak? I ought to kick your ass, right here and now!"

"Well wasn't that obvious? I mean Light was practically throwing himself at your brother, and your brother didn't seem to mind." Near dead panned.

"How the hell would your virgin ass even know what 'sexual tension' is? I bet you haven't even gotten head before." Mello said with an annoyed scoff at the end.

"Your right I haven't...but I'm sure you have" Near said with a creepily evil smirk that gave me goose bumps.

'What!? That is the most snarky thing Near has ever said! Wait...is he flirting with Mello? And why does that bother me...?'

"It sounds like you want to find out..." Mello replied to Near adding a suggestive eyebrow wiggle at the end.

"HAS EVERYONE IN THIS FUCKING SCHOOL TURNED GAY!?" I yelled at both of them. My eyes widened at the realization of what I just said and I quickly clasped my hands over my mouth. Both boys (along with a few curious bystanders) turned their heads to stare at me with shock written all over their faces. Until Mello finally spoke up with a smile plastered on his face.

"Awe, is the wittle Strawberry feeling jealous? Does daddy need to give yew a wittle kiss to make the pain go away?" Mello said in his most mocking tone.

I felt the heat rush to my cheeks but I quickly shook it off and realized he was just mocking me and remembered that he could never really care for a person like me.

"Did you just refer to yourself as daddy? Who are you supposed to be? Tamaki Suoh? And no I'm not jealous! I'm just...surprised at the way everyone is acting!" I explained, trying to get him to see how crazy everyone was being.

"Why would you be surprised? Are you homophobic or something? Not that it's any of your business or anything, but just to let you know IM gay." Mello replied seething with rage.

"WHAT!?" Was all I could say, I didn't even know how to feel about what he just said.

'What. Wait what? Okay...let's not overreact here. WHAT IS LIFE!?' I could tell my shocked expression and short response were making Mello feel uneasy by the way he started to fidget with the chain attached to his jeans.

"Oh like the long hair, tight leather, and knee high boots weren't a dead giveaway. You know what!? If you can't accept who I am then I'll just find somewhere else to eat my fucking lunch!" And with those heated words Mello rose from the table and stormed out of the cafeteria.

I felt like dying. To some people that might have sounded like an over exaggeration, but the way my heart broke told me otherwise. Mello was the one person to make my life semi interesting, the one person to show any interest in me (other than Near of course, but he never really showed any true emotion), the one person to make me feel and act like my life might actually be worth living. And I just basically told them that I had a problem with who they were. Before I could think, I jumped from my seat and ran after Mello, ignoring the glances and remarks that I was getting.

I don't know how long or how far I ran, but I didn't stop until my feet hurt and my stomach felt like it was going to release all of its contents. After running through empty narrow corridors and countless classrooms I saw a blonde figure huddled up against one of the lockers in fetal position.

I walked over to the blonde bundle and crouched down to put a comforting hand on his shoulder. Mello lifted his head to show bright blue glossy eyes on the verge of tears. My breath got caught in my throat and I felt like destroying whatever made him cry...only to remember it was me.

"GET AWAY FROM ME" Mello screamed, still managing to scare me completely even though he was in a weakened state.

"Okay, I want you to listen to me very carefully and don't interrupt, if you still don't forgive me after I say this, feel free to hate me forever." I said in my most calming voice and Mello only nodded in understanding then he sat up and hugged his knees to his chest. "The only reason I said 'WHAT!?' Was because I was surprised a guy as manly as you was gay, and still that was wrong for me to even go with those stupid stereotypes that say that all gay guys act girly. I in NO way disapprove of who you are and how you live your life, because it is not my place or ANYONE else's to judge others; especially when that other person can't help with how they were born and who they are. What defines a person is how they act towards others, not what they look like or who they choose to love. Christians on a daily basis judge others for who they are, which in all honesty contradicts what the religion is really about and Christianity is about forgiving others and loving everyone. And that only shows how strong you are, because even though people have probably put you through hell you still keep your religion close to you and wear it proudly whenever you put your rosary on. Mello...people who judge people for being gay or bisexual are missing out on so much, they will never get the privilege of knowing that person and will never get to experience the amazingness which is their life. _Just thinking about how some people find someone they love more than anything in the world, who they would risk their life for but couldn't marry or be with due to the way society judges people; and you couldn't have that one special day the way your friends and family did...just putting myself in that persons shoes...it makes me feel sick to my stomach_. _Everyone who opposes gays or believes that their bible gives them the moral authority to dictate the rights of others, their children will look back at them like we look at those who told blacks and women that they didn't have the same rights as white men are on the wrong side of history and their bullshit will die with them_. So please forgive me and my stupid ass reaction!"

I caught my breath, realizing that I just gave an entire speech that basically just said 'I know your gay and that's okay' but for some reason that subject has always been very touchy for me and always grinds my gears. Just as I finished my thoughts I looked down to Mello who appeared to be very awestruck, and had a single clear tear fall from his eye and glide down his cheek. Out of impulse I brought my hand to his cheek and pushed away the tear with my thumb, and kept my hand rested on his cheek.

All I could do was stare into his glistening eyes and give a comforting smile. We stayed in that position for what seemed like a lifetime, but we were soon interrupted by the bell that ended lunch and sound of voices coming down the hallways. I was brought back to my senses and quickly removed my hand from his face and proceeded to stand up and straiten myself up. I looked down to see a dazed Mello with his head leaning back against the locker, and stretched my hand down towards him. He cautiously looked at me hand then back at me, and just decided to take it and I helped him up.

"Come on we don't want to be late for our next classes, I'll meet up with you at the end of the day…that is if you still want a ride home?" I asked, trying to change the subject. Mello only nodded in response.

"Okay since I just found out that you have a brother and stuff, does he brother need a ride home or…?" I asked again, hoping to get more of a response out of him this time.

"I'll ask." Mello replied while looking at the ground.

My heart ached, I know that he seemed to forgive me…but why was he acting like this? I just nodded my head in agreement and turned around, getting ready to dash down the hallway and get as far away from him as possible. But before I could move three steps I felt a strong grip on my arm. I spun my head around and was meet with a familiar pair of passionate blue eyes.

"Thank you Matt…for understand….it hasn't been easy." With those last words the hold on my arm was released and I was left standing their watching a blonde figure disappear into the crowds of people coming down the hall.

…

_"Every time we lie awake  
After every hit we take  
Every feeling that I get  
But I haven't missed you yet_

_Every roommate kept awake_  
_By every sigh and scream we make_  
_All the feelings that I get_  
_But I still don't miss you yet_

_Only when I stop to think about it_

_I hate everything about you_  
_Why do I love you?_  
_I hate everything about you_  
_Why do I love you?_

_Every time we lie awake_  
_After every hit we take_  
_Every feeling that I get_  
_But I haven't missed you yet_

_Only when I stop to think about it_

_I hate everything about you_  
_Why do I love you?_  
_I hate everything about you_  
_Why do I love you?_

_Only when I stop to think about you,_  
_I know_  
_Only when you stop to think about me,_  
_do you know?_

_I hate everything about you_  
_Why do I love you?_  
_You hate everything about me_  
_Why do you love me?_

_I hate_  
_You hate_  
_I hate_  
_You love me_

_I hate everything about you_  
_Why do I love you?"_

I was singing along to _"I hate everything about you" _by three days grace when a loud knocking on the window of the passenger side of the car brought me out of my musical daze. I looked over to see Mello standing outside the car with an annoyed expression covering his face, and there was someone standing next to him. I unlocked the doors and Mello slid into the passenger seat while his brother crawled into the back seat and sat so he was perched on his feet on the edge of the seat.

"I believe that you briefly meet my brother Lawliet, at lunch today." Mello said as he tightened his seatbelt obviously still frightened at my driving technique.

"Yeah…" was all I could say in response to the scene that had occurred during lunch.

"Oh yes, Mells has spoken of you. It's Mail right? He also told me about how supportive you were about his sexuality when you found out today. I'm glad that not everyone in this school is closed minded, because people should understand that people can't help being homosexual; it's all actually very scientific and whi-" Lawliet was cut off when Mello turned around in his seat giving him a very stern look, warning him to just stop talking.

"Yes well it's nice to meet you Lawliet…? And my real name is Mail but I would prefer it if you could please just call me Matt." I replied to him still hoping that I heard his name right the first time.

The rest of the car ride was spent in silence with the occasional glare from Mello every time I blew the smoke from my cigarette out of my mouth. I pulled up into their apartments parking garage and as I pulled up I saw Light Yagami lying on the hood of his car writing in his notebook. I rolled my window down in curiosity, and unlocked the doors allowing Lawliet to get out and greet Light.

"Is there anything I can help you with Light? And not to sound rude but how did you get address?" Lawliet warmly greeted Light and walked over to his car.

Light stopped writing in his notebook and sat up, putting his notebook away into his carry on satchel. He got down from the hood of his car and smiled his signature smile at Lawliet. "I'm sorry for giving you such short notice, but I thought you would like a ride to my house seeing that you don't have my address or any of my contact information. And since you already agreed to come over tonight I thought I would come by to remind you anyways. As for your address, let's just say that I have my ways of getting my information. If you require anything from your apartment before we leave I can give you some time to collect your stuff or change."

'There's no way in hell Lawliet would just up and leave just because Light said so.'

"No it's fine, we can just leave now." Lawliet replied as he walked over to the passenger seat of Lights car and they drove out of the parking garage together leaving me and Mello alone.

'I'm done trying to figure them out.'

"Okay then…s-so do you wanna c-come inside?" Mello's question had caught me completely off guard. I frowned and started to rapidly blink not believing that those words had actually just come out of Mellos mouth.

I saw how nervous Mello was though. He was fidgeting in his seat and looking at his hands. For some reason I felt color rise to my cheeks as I saw how truly adorable Mello was acting.

"Yea, that sounds great!" I said a little too quickly.

'Did that sound too eager? Oh god, now I'm starting to sound like a teenage girl. I need help'

We got out of the car and walked to the elevator, riding it up to the 5th floor. I took in the scenery that surrounded us, still feeling a little nervous at the sketchiness of the whole place. We arrived at the apartment 221 and Mello unlocked the door and lead me in. What I saw was the furthest thing from sketchy or dirty. The living room was open and inviting with a brown leather couch with brass accents and a stone fire place and a chestnut coffee table. The kitchen was a few feet away from the living room and the counter doubled as a bar that had black bar stools. I was thoroughly impressed, after meeting Mello I have started to realize not to judge things by outward appearances.

"Wow. This is just…wow. You have a beautiful home Mello!"

"Thanks, most of the furniture used to belong to our parents."

"Really?...so where are your parents anyway?" I asked a little unsure of the response I would get.

"They're gone." Mello said as his expression quickly turned grim.

I didn't know how to react to his statement, and I didn't think pushing the matter further would help either so I just kept quiet and looked around at random objects.

"So…are you hungry?" Mello asked breaking the newfound silence.

"No, but I am kind of thirsty I would appreciate some water."

"Sure, I'll be right back" Mello left to go into the kitchen and as he opened up the cabinet to get the glass I saw boxes upon boxes of chocolate bars. I just snickered to myself and shook my head at Mellos ridiculous addiction. After a minute Mello returned with two glasses of water.

After a half an hour of small talk and T.V on the couch, I finally gathered up the courage to ask Mello about his parents.

"S-so Mello about earlier…what did happen to your parents?" I asked my voice still a little shaky.

"They died, and I was sent to an orphanage for five years until Lawliets parents adopted me. They were such kind people, but after two years they both died in a car accident. Lawliet and I lived with his uncle for a while but he got emancipated and became my legal guardian once he turned 18, since his uncle was abusive. And yes, he is older than a lot of people at school because he's 19 years old now, but trust me that doesn't mean that he's dumb. " Mello said as he looked at the glass of water sitting in his lap.

"How did your parents…?"

"There was a freak accident…a fire"

"…I'm so sorry…that must have been awful."

"Not really…it happened when I was young. I can't really remember much from it; sometimes I can't even remember what my parents looked like. My parents died…and I was just left with a scar." Mello brought his now shaking hand to his head and pulled back his bangs to reveal a barely noticeable scar on the right side of his face. "A fireman had saved me just in time…the doctors always said I was lucky to get away with only a scar, but I never really felt lucky…" after those last few words Mello broke out into tears.

"The harsh reality is that we live in a cruel world where more often than not, darkness can be found in our everyday lives, but you can't forget the world can be a beautiful thing." I said to him trying to keep back the tears tugging at my eyes.

"H-how can a place where we watch the people we l-love die be considered beautiful?" Mello choked out as the tears kept flowing down his face.

"I don't know. _All we have to do is decide what to do with the time that is given to us_." I said with a blank expression barley believing my own advice. I then pulled one of the blankets from the couch we were sitting on and used it to wipe away Mellos tears.

Mello looked at me as we sat in comfortable silence and then he started to lean in towards me. He pulled me into a hug and wrapped his arm around my shoulders while resting his head in the crook of my neck.

"Thank you…for everything" Mello whispered down my neck

I was so shocked at his actions that it took me a minute to realize what was happening. After regaining my composure I wrapped my arms around him and rested them on his lower back.

"You're welcome" I replied to Mello.

This was the happiest I have ever felt. I could have stayed in that position forever but just as I was getting really comfortable Mello pulled away from the hug. I was about to protest but Mello did something even more shocking. Mello wrapped one of his hands into my hair and pulled my forward towards him. Before I could in any way respond I felt a warm and soft pressure against my lips. Mello was kissing me. He felt so warm and comforting and my eyes finally closed after the initial shock wore off. I brought both of my hands to his face trying to pull him in closer.

At that moment I didn't care about anything except the temperamental blonde sitting in front of me.

* * *

**So...that was chapter 3! I hope you liked it!**

**Once again I apologize for any spelling mistakes!**

**Since I'm about to finish school in three days I promise that my next chapter will be uploaded sooner!**

**Oh and BTW I created an account on wattpad and post the same stories on there and if you wanna know my user name it's in my bio**

**ANYWAYS LETS TALK ABOUT THE CHAPTER SHALL WE:**

**So Matt's huge speech about him being okay with Mello's gayness was more of a rant for me because I feel VERY STRONGLY about gay rights! And no, that doesn't mean I'm gay or that I'm not a Christian. So I am sorry if that little speech of his seemed to get a little of topic.**

**So in this chapter I used four quotes and one song (I put them in italics). I admit in all the quotes I changes a few words around but I will list them bellow along with their author.**

**1. "To everyone who opposes gay marriage or believes that your bible gives you the moral authority to dictate the rights of others, your children will look back at you like we look at those who told blacks and women that they didn't have the same rights as white men. You're on the wrong side of history and you're bull shit will die with you." ~author unknown **

**2. "Imagine finding someone you love more than anything in the world, who you would risk your life for but couldn't marry. And you couldn't have that special day the way your friends do [...] Just put yourself in that person's shoes. It makes me feel sick to my stomach." ~Miley Cyrus**

**3. This Cruel World.**

"The harsh reality is that we live in a cruel world where more often then not, darkness can be found not only surrounding our every day lives, but also can also be felt within ourselves. The flickering of news channels and news papers can almost always be counted on to be a bearer of bad new of how much humanity is in chaos with the world and itself.

Truth is that at the very moment your eyes are passing these very words, people are dying while others are crying. There are murderers, rapists, and abusers in this world causing their victims in turmoil of a living hell. Millions of souls in this world are slowly losing faith in their dreams and hopes such as a candle light flickering just before it's final moments of forever being blown out. There are people who are losing everything they ever loved, who are depressed beyond belief, who are suffering a disease that could take their lives at any momeny and who feels like their losing a war at which an unknown monster is winning. At this moment, people are homeless trying to find a away to survive each day. At this moment, there are people who are starving wondering where to find food each day. And at this moment, someone out there is ending their life because they decided they couldn't handle the cruelty of this world any more. And throughout all this, we stand and witness all this sadness and destruction.

There's a saying out there: The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it.

And that's just it. The world is a cruel place, but it is not without its good. I mean, for how evil this world is, there are so many people who doesn't sit by and not do anything about it. There are countless of people who are trying to help the less fortunate, who are trying to right the wrongs, and if anything…continued hoping for a better tomorrow. In a world full of darkness, it is still important to remember there are countless lights of good people with good hearts that still can be found and with it, hope for a this world to improve and be better. And as you're reading these world, be one of the lights in this vast darkness. Be one of the good in this cruel world." ~author unknown

**4. "I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us." ~J.R.R. Tolkien (Lord of the Rings)**

**5. The song I used in my story is called "I Hate Everything About You" and it's by Three Days Grace. They are my second favorite band and you should totally go listen to the song! I used it because I felt like it kind of fit Matt and Mellos relationship at the moment...but that's just my opinion.**

**THANKS FOR READING!**


	4. Reopening Old Wounds

**Hey babes! Emiko here!  
**

**Let's get down to it shall we *creepy eyebrow wiggle* idk why I love doing that so much ^_^**

**I apologize for any spelling mistakes**

**Disclaimer: I don't own death note or any of its characters (but if I did there would be a lot more YAOI)**

**Feel free to leave comments! They are what keep me writing so they are very much appreciated! Just a reminder, there is a difference between constructive criticism and just being plain rude.**

**Warning: This chapter contains squeamish content, cursing, sexual themes **

**General Warning: CONTAINS FOWL LANGUAGE, FUTURE LEMONS/SMUT, VIOLENCE**

_**OKAY PLEASE READ THE FOLLOWING:**_

_**So I've been writing this fanfic for what seems like forever but I need your opinions for my fourth chapter! Please I need you help! So I like planning out my stories ahead of time so I've already started thinking about lemon/smut ideas but I can't seem to decide who should be UKE and SEME in the two relationships in the story (AKA MELLO X MATT & L X LIGHT). So can you PLEASE comment who you think should be which. Thanks :)**_

**3 ENJOY CHAPTER 4  
**

* * *

_'The ache in my chest was becoming too much to bear, I needed to breath. I opened my mouth to gasp for air but as soon as I did, water engulfed my throat. Every fiber of my being struggled against the current, with my arms and legs wailing on the water. I reached out my hand and tried to call for help but my only response was silence. And in that horrible lonely moment I realized...I had no one. That, is what depression feels like...it feels like you're drowning except the only difference is that you can see everyone around you breathing. I am so tired mentally and physically sometimes I just want to lie down and close my eyes forever._

_You know the person at your school who is always laughing, smiling, having a great time…and dying inside. The truth is they're hurt and tired. Tired of all the drama, tired of never being good enough, tired of life. But they don't want to look dramatic, week and attention seeking. So they keep it all inside. Act like everything's perfect but cries at night. So everybody thinks that they're the happiest person they know. That they have no problems and their life is perfect. If only you knew the truth. That person is me._

_I am just so fed up and so tired. It's gotten to the point where I've become numb. Instead of crying I just curl up into a ball and hope that all my problems will just melt away. But sadly…That's not how life works…_

_Or at least, that's how I used to feel before I met him…'_

For the first time in a long time I felt something…It was compassion, and this time someone was genuinely feeling it towards me. Two warm hands located at my neck slowly tightened and pulled me closer to deepen the kiss. I had no idea what was going on. Why was a person who hates everyone kissing me of all people?

Mello pulled himself onto my lap while tugging at my hair. He swept his tongue against my bottom lip asking for entrance, and I quickly granted it to him. His warm inviting muscle danced throughout my mouth and slightly tasted like chocolate. After a minute long passion filled kiss we pulled away from each other and gasped for air.

'Wait what's going on!? What am I doing? I shouldn't be doing this! This is wrong!'

"Mello we can't!" and with those words I lightly pushed Mello off of me and started towards the door. I didn't even give him a chance to reply, because I knew I wouldn't like what he had to say. I slipped on my shoes and lunged for the door handle. "I'm sorry..." was all I could whisper as I gave once last glance over my shoulder to see a shell shocked Mello and I continued to open the door and leave.

I practically ran back to my car while tears started to pull ay the corners of my eyes. The entire drive home consisted of even more reckless driving than usual. My car pulled into the driveway and I slammed on the brakes, leaving tire marks. I tightened my grip on the steering wheel and let my head fall down as tears started to fall from my face into my lap.

'Why...h-how?! I shouldn't be feeling this way. This is wrong...I shouldn't feel this way towards another guy. And how could I just leave him there like that? IM A HORRIBLE PERSON!'

After a couple of minutes of silent sobbing I pulled my emotions together and left the car. I rang the doorbell to our house and was greeted by our butler Sebastian a minute later.

"Good evening Sir, may I take your bag?" Sebastian warmly greeted me.

I gave him an acknowledging grunt and threw him my bag and car keys. I walked through the empty hallways of my large estate with the faintest sound of laughter coming from the kitchen where my mom was having tea with her friends.

"There you are Mattie! I was just telling Trisha about that time wh-" my mom chimed out to me as I passed the kitchen entrance way.

"I don't have time for this Magnolia" I addressed my mother as I cut her off mid-sentence and continued to make my way to my room. I didn't have the time or luxury to deal with other people's shit at the moment so if that meant acting like a bitch then so be it.

I pried open the door to my room as I barley had the energy to stand up. My feet stomped against the hard wood floor and I plopped down into my heavenly bed. I let my feathered pillows and comforter swallow me up until I felt like I was wrapped up in a warm cocoon. I took in long deep breaths, each exhale releasing a little stress. After about ten minutes of much needed relaxing I allowed my mind to wonder onto today's events, more specifically events involving a chocolate crazed sociopath.

'Why did Mello...kiss me? I mean I knew he was gay but...ME!? What was so great about me anyway? Oh ya that's right, NOTHING!'

As my mind kept arguing with itself I could feel my mind slowly drift away and my eyelids grew heavy. And before I knew it, I was out cold.

_"What have you done with your life? God you're such a fucking disappointment! Do you even have a plan for the future? What decent woman would want to marry a self-serving loser like you? If you think you can mooch off the hard earned money I make, you have another thing coming!" Each one of his words cut strait into my heart as the tears welled in my eyes. Will he ever be happy with who I am? I looked up to see a man in a tailored suit giving me a look of pure disgust as he raised his hand. My body started to quiver as he brought his hand down onto my cheek leaving a huge red mark and the worst stinging pain imaginable._

At that moment my eyes were torn opened as my body jolted up. I looked around to see that I was still in my room, still wrapped up in my fortress of blankets. I brought my hand to my cheek remembering the pain.

'It must have just been a dream'

I untangled myself from my blankets and sat up from my bed. I looked over to my nightstand to see the fluorescent green light of my digital clock read 3:26am. "Great just what I needed only 4 hours of sleep." I moaned to myself as I brought my naked feet to the ice cold ground. My whole body struggled to get out of bed and walk towards the shared bathroom located outside in the hallway.

I walked up to the sink and my whole body shuddered while I splashed cold water on my face. I looked at my pitiful reflection and saw that I was wearing the same clothes that I went to school in the day before. I peeled off my nightmare induced sweat soaked shirt and then repeated the action with my skinny jeans. I did another once over of my reflection to see a scrawny pale boy in navy blue boxers with a plain face and abnormally bright red hair. I held up my arms to inspect them more thoroughly to see to pale twigs that barley passed as arms. When I looked closer I could still see the faint horizontal striped scars located near my wrists and shoulders. My stomach started to do somersaults as I reminisced on what events made me put those scars there in the first place.

'NO! I can't start thinking about this now! I need to forget!' And with that thought I opened the mirror that doubled as a medicine cabinet and began to frantically search for my solution. I pulled out my mom's Xanax bottle she got prescribed for stress and popped 5mg and downed it with water. I quickly stumbled back into my room knowing what would come next...the black out. As I laid in bed I could slowly start to feel the drug take effect. My muscles started to contract then relax and my head was spinning. A slight smile formed on my lips as my eyelids began to flutter and then finally closed shut. My mind went blank and I felt like I was floating and for only 5 minutes I felt so good…so happy...and then it went black.

**000**

**L / Lawliet's P.O.V Back to when he got into Light's car**

**[A/N : Hey guys BTW if you couldn't already, this is the point of view change I talked about in my authors note at the beginning of the chapter. But I do have one question for you guys, because I was unsure with which way to go. So who do you guys think the UKE and SEME should be for both of the couple relationships (AKA Matt X Mello or L X Light)? I know I already asked this question on my authors note at the beginning of this chapter but I'm not really sure how many people actually read that authors note. Anyway thanks for reading my story and taking the time to read this authors note. You can comment your response to the question.]**

I climbed out of Lights car and took in the underwhelming sight of his house. Light Yagami appears to live in an average suburban neighborhood in an average suburban middle class house. Not that I can really talk due to the fact that I live in a neighborhood with high crime rates and in an apartment of all places. But this is Light Yagami we are talking about; I was kind of expecting a castle with knights on white steeds walking down a drawbridge. Light immediately recognized that I was lost in thought. I really wouldn't expect anything less from the guy who tied for first place in the school rankings with me.

"I know it's not much, but trust me don't think that means that you might have a better chance at beating me out of my rank as number one." Light said with a comforting and warm smile.

"You know, it takes a very twisted mind to act arrogant while simultaneously giving someone a warm and kind smile. Who exactly are you Light Yagami?"

"Well that is for you to find out Lawliet." Light said giving me another smile not phased by my words unlike other people who usually end up breaking down into tears. Then he started leading me into his house. "Oh and just so you know my parents aren't home…but my 'friend' is"

Just as I was about to question who exactly this "friend" my nostrils were attacked by the sweet smell of…cake!

"I. Smell. Cake! I want it…oh ya…ugh please" I said almost forgetting my manners at first.

Light let out a heart melting chuckle and then patted my shoulder as he said "I heard from people around school that you have a real sweet tooth, so that's why I invited you over today. I took your idea in changing the cafeteria into consideration, and after much arguing with the school board they finally caved. So tonight I thought since you really enjoy sweets and since it was your idea, you might like to test out some of the desserts we might serve.

"Thank you for considering my in your decision, I would love to help taste tests some of the sweets."

"I thought you would." Light said as he started to guide me to the delicious aroma of sweets.

When we walked into the kitchen I thought that I had died and entered heaven (even though I'm pretty sure if I died heaven isn't the place I would be going). The kitchen counter was with cookies, brownies, cake, and a bunch of other extra amazing bite sized orgasms. I started to circle the food just like a vulture circles its prey, meticulously examining each piece.

"Does anything look good to you?" Light practically sang, clearly taking enjoyment out of my reactions.

'Ummm I can name a number of things that look absolutely scrumptious to me right now *inner creepy eyebrow wiggle*…wait what the hell am I thinking?'

"A variety of things here look amazing Light, I am very grateful."

"Well I'm glad. Anyways there are still a number of recipes that are in the running to go on the menu that haven't been cooked. Shall we get started?"

"Wait we have to cook? I mean I'm fine with it, but I warn you, I have no experience with the culinary arts. Also when did you have time to make all of these?"

"That's quite all right Lawliet, I'll show you the ropes. And I wasn't the one to cook all of these, it was my…'friend' who made all these."

"Who is this 'friend' you ke-" Just as I was about to finish asking my question Light cut me off by clapping his hands together and starting to talk. His behavior is very…peculiar.

"Anyways, before we start cooking you are welcome to try a few of the options." Light said while cutting me off. I wanted to protest and interrogate him further but I didn't have the time, there was to much cake that needed to be eating. Who had the time for mysteries?

So for the next ten minutes we spent the time gobbling down as much food as our stomachs could handle as I sang along to the Criminal cover by Eddie Razaz (originally by Britney Spears).

_"…But mama I'm in love with a criminal  
And this type of love isn't rational, it's physical  
Mama please don't cry, I will be alright  
All reason aside I just can't deny, love the guy_

_He is a villain by the devil's law_  
_He is a killer just for fun, fun, fun, fun_  
_That man's a snitch and unpredictable_  
_He's got no conscience, he got none, none, none, none_  
_Oh-ooooo I know-ooooo, should've let go, but no_  
_'Cause he is a bad boy with a tainted heart_  
_And even I know this ain't smart…"_

"Wow…Lawliet…I had no idea that you listen and sing to that type of music."

"Never judge people by outwards appearances Light, it will be your downfall."

Our time was spent in silence for another five minutes as we both quietly enjoyed out desserts together in peace. But after a while I could tell Light was struggling to say something but he ended up finally breaking the silence.

"H-hey Lawliet, you should try this apple flavored icing, it's truly delicious."

I turned around expecting to be met with a plate or spoonful of icing but instead I was met with a finger. Light was standing across from me staring with wide eyes and a devious smile that sent shivers down my spine, holding out his index finger covered in said icing. I didn't know how to react. 'I have to decline his offer…but if I decline it would it be seen as rude? Also it would make tensions rise between us while making the atmosphere more awkward.' I made up my mind.

I leaned forward not once breaking our eye contact. I slowly opened my mouth and extended the tip of my tongue to slightly lick his finger so I could taste the icing first to make sure it was as good as he said. And trust me…it was. I then opened my mouth even more allowing it to engulf his entire finger, taking all the icing that came with it. After what seemed like forever, I realized that I was taking a little to long to eat the icing off one little finger, so I eventually pulled away.

"Y-you're right it does taste amazing" I said as I felt heat rush to my cheeks for the first time in my entire life.

"I'm glad you liked it." Light replied giving an arrogant smile that made me want to become violent and dominate him.

"Yeah…we better start cooking the other desserts before it becomes too late."

And with that Light and I were hard at work baking sweets. After twenty minutes of cooking I was already covered in flour from head to toe. Cakes were starting to pop into the oven one after the other each better than the last. By the time I was mixing my third cake Light interrupted my cooking.

"Hey Lawliet you've been doing really good so far but as a tip you should try stirring you cake batter like this, it'll help the cake come out more fluffy and light** [A/N : pun not intended ;) …idk I have no life…don't judge me ]**." Light said as he looked down to his own batter and started to demonstrate the correct mixing technique.

"Oh, you mean like this?" I asked while trying to copy his movements to the best to my abilities.

Light started to walk up behind me getting closer with each step "That's better, but not quite the right technique. Here let me help." He said breathing down my neck as he brought both of his arms around me so that his hands covered mine so that we were both holding the whisk now. My entire body stiffened at his touch, but after a couple of seconds I started to sink back into his chest and start to relax.

"So just move your hand in circular motions like this." Light said as he guided both of our hands around the bowl.

"…O-oh…okay…thanks" I said as I tilted my head up so I was making eye-contact with him.

I could feel the rapid rate of my heart as my head was screaming at me to find a way out of the situation, but for some reason I just couldn't leave the comfort of his arms. We stayed in that position neither of us daring to ruin the moment. Then I could feel his body weight shift as he started to bend forward and lean into me so that our faces were only centimeters apart. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I decided to close the remaining space between or lips and before I knew it I was lip locking with the most attractive guy at our school. I could stay this way forever.

"Wow…what the hell is going on here? Some sort of gay baking porno?!" A shrewd voice said interrupting what felt like the best moment of my life.

Light and I quickly jerked away from each other at the sound of the third person in the room.

"Ryuk!? What the fuck are you doing here? I told you I had a guest coming over! I thought you said that you hated strangers seeing you so you would stay up stairs!" Light yelled, the anger evident in his voice.

I looked over to the stranger and the mischievous smile that my eyes were met with made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. 'There's something off about this guy.' I further inspected the creepy character and I was baffled, and trust me, that doesn't happen often. The mysterious guy apparently named Ryuk was frighteningly pale with bright hazel eyes that almost seemed to glow. He was dressed in tight black leather from head to toe only leaving his neck and head visible. 'Ha, maybe him in Mello should get together some time and get a fashion intervention.' His outfit was topped off with a few feathers hanging off the collar of the shirt which gave him a real…"unique" appearance. He had a tall lean build with midnight blue spiky hair and unnaturally sharp teeth, which only made his smile even more skin crawling.

"I smelt sweet apples so I had to come down! I started to feel my withdraw symptoms." Ryuk said, replacing the smile on his face with a pout. "By the way Light, who is your friend? He seems very…interesting…" Ryuk said giving me yet another stomach churning smile. 'I don't get it! Never in my life have I ever met a person able to make ME L LAWLIET feel….scared?'

"He is none of you-"

"I'm Lawliet" I blurted out interrupting Light, in an attempt to find out more about this Ryuk. "and can I ask who you might be?"

"Well hi there L, My name is Ryuk, and I'm Light's babysitter"

"Excuse me?" I said not sure whether I was more shocked at the fact that he just called me L or that Light still has a babysitter.

"That is not true. My parents may have hired Ryuk to look after me and make sure that I do my work so that I can stay at the top of my class, but he no way watches over me. If anything I have to watch over him! He is constantly sticking his nose where it doesn't belong!" Light said trying to keep his cool but I could see the anger rising up through him. "Anyways Lawliet I am very sorry for the intrusion, Ryuk will leave us alone now! Wont you Ryuk?!" Light said as he snapped his head over to glare in Ryuks direction.

Just as Ryuk opened his mouth to reply to Light I decided that I should intervene. "That won't be necessary Ryuk, because I was just about to leave anyways."

"Lawliet you don't have to leave." Light protested.

"Listen Light, I have been raising my kid brother for a while now and I really have no intention of staring a relationship with someone right, because I'm already looking after one temperamental child, I don't need to be looking after two. I'm sorry for being blunt, but that's just who I am. I appreciate your invitation to coming to your house and you initiative in changing the cafeteria menu. I will see you at school tomorrow. Goodbye." And with those last words I walked out of the house in my normal slouched position.

**000**

**Matt P.O.V**

"Mattie? Wake up! You're going to be late for school if you don't get up right now." I heard a high pitch voice scold me. My eyes slowly opened as I had to blink a few times to adjust to the light. I saw a blurry strawberry blonde figure hovering over me, I could tell it was my mom as my vision began to focus. She looked annoyed but I could see the slightest furrow in her eyebrows out of concern in the state I was in. My entire body flew up because I was worried that my mom might start to wonder about why my eyes were blood shot. My sudden movement wasn't such a good idea, because as soon as I sat up my stomach clenched up and I could feel all of its contents make its way up my throat. Before I knew it was curled up on the ground hanging over the trash bin next to my bed throwing up my guts.

"Oh my gosh sweetie are you okay? You shouldn't go to school today if you're sick." My mom whispered in a soothing tone as she squatted down next to me and started to rub my back as I continued to puke.

I emptied the last bit of my stomach contents and brought the end of sheets hanging from my bed to my mouth and wiped any trace of the throw up away. "I'm fine. I'm not sick, so I can still go to school."

"...o-okay, I trust your judgment, you can go to school but please just be careful!" My mom reluctantly said although I knew that she really just didn't want to have to deal with me all day.

I took a short shower and pulled over my black hoodie with nothing underneath along with black skinny jeans and black vans then topped of the outfit with sunglasses to hide my eyes. The rest of the morning was pretty uneventful, I just had my mother breathing down my neck while she kept trying to force feed me Tums and cold medicine. Today was going to be a long day...

**...(TIME PASSES)…**

I sauntered down the hallway keeping my head down and praying that I wouldn't run into Mello. I came up to my locker and got my stuff. I was about to leave, but just then my prayers weren't answered.

"So, you want to tell me why you ran out on my yesterday?" Mello said as he shut my locker door in front of my face.

"L-look Mello...I'm really sorry...it's just that..." I trailed off trying to find the right words that would spare his feelings.

"Just that what?" Mello said with clear irritation.

"Well, I just don't...can't feel that way about another guy. I'm sorry, but I hope we can still be friends."

I could see Mello's facial expression go blank as he let his head fall towards the ground along with his hair that now hid his face. "I see..."

There was a long pause before Mello spoke up again, this time he was smiling.

"Well it's not like I'm heartbroken I think I'll get over it, and I guess I could live with us just being friends. I should also be apologizing because I did kind of spring...it on you. And since we're now friends do you think you can give me a ride home from school today?"

It saddened me to see how easily Mello bounced back but I was relieved that he wouldn't ignore me for it. 'Wait why am I upset about that.'

"Well...?" Mello asked bringing me out of my trance.

"Oh ya sure I can give you a ride, will your brother be joining us again?"

"Nah, I think he said Light was giving him a ride to home today."

"Okay then, I guess I'll just wait for you at my car at the end of school then."

"Thanks man, sooo…" **[A/N : doesn't everyone hate that awkward silence that happens when you talk to someone after kissing them hehe! Sorry couldn't help myself, I'm kind of immature]**

"…"

"Why do you look like a complete bum today? Like seriously man, the least you could do is take off your fucking sunglasses so you don't look like one of those douches who wear sunglasses inside or at night time." And before I knew it Mello was reaching forwards and snatched the sunglasses right off of my face. "Well at least these are really nice, what brand are they? Are they rayb-" I kept trying to keep my face down and was fidgeting with my hair so that it would cover up my bloodshot eyes, but from the dramatic pause Mello just took I could tell that he saw. "I'll give you ten seconds to explain" was all Mello said in a calm and soothing voice that scared me more than his regular yelling outbursts. My skin was crawling and I felt absolutely disgusted with myself. 'Why isn't he yelling? Oh god…this is the day I'm going to die. Goodbye cruel world.' With those last thoughts I felt a pair of strong hands grab me and force me into the boy's bathroom that was about five feet away from us. Mello rushed in and shooed all the people out of it. I heard the metal bolt on the door to the bathroom make a clicking sound and my heart started to race. 'WHY IS HE LOCKING THE DOOR?! Oh no I'm too young to die!'

"So?" Mello said this time in a threatening voice as he started to walk closer to me.

"So what?" I asked trying to play innocent hopping that he would just let it go.

"Don't even try acting dumb with me, although knowing you, you might even be trying to act. You're fucking high right now aren't you?"

"Correction, I _was_ high. Like as in I'm not high anymore" I said as I mentally slapped myself for actually saying something as stupid as that.

"Do you really think now is an appropriate time to be making smart ass remarks? Matt, why would you even do something like this to yourself? You made a promise to me that you wouldn't give up." Mello said as he tried walking closer to me, causing me to start walking backwards and get backed up against the bathroom sink.

I could feel the pent up anger that has been sitting at the back of my thoughts start to bubble up and I knew that couldn't hold it back anymore. "Calm the fuck down! First of all this is none of your business and what I put in my body only affects me! Second of all the only reason I took all those pills was because I was so damn confused about what you did to me yesterday! Lastly how the hell is taking some pills considered 'giving up' on life?" My eyes physically widened as I slapped my hand over my mouth. 'What the fuck did I just do? No…I didn't mean it like that. Did I just blame him for some stupid ass decision _I_ made? I want to take it back.' But before I could even my mouth to take back my idiotic words I felt a cold stinging sensation on my cheek as my whole head got hit to the side so I was now staring to my right and at the ground. Mello had just slapped me. I looked up while holding my now red cheek to see him have a righteous look of seething anger as he was huffing shallow breaths as if the slap at taken a physical toll on him, but I knew he was just so angry that he was having trouble not breathing quickly.

"Don't you ever blame me or anyone else for _your_ problems. What you did was your choice, what I did was out of impulse and gratitude for you being so helpful yesterday and I do apologize for forcing it on you but I couldn't help it. And yes what you did was considered giving up without a fight, because you could have really hurt yourself and you wouldn't even have been able to put up a fight. I'm not trying to lecture you, but I want to be there for you, the way you were for me."

"Wasn't I the one who was supposed to be in your debt? Not the other way around?"

"Hah, stupid Strawberry, screw the fucking debt. I thought friends were supposed to be there for each other no matter what?"

'Right…friends'

My entire body froze as I replayed the word 'friend' over and over again in my head like a broken record. How could Mello still consider me a friend after what I did and how I flat out rejected him? I wanted to hug him and never let go. But before I could tell him that I consider him one of my only friends, (sorry Near) the 1st period bell interrupted our conversation. There was an awkward silence of both of us just standing there and staring at each other until Mello finally broke it.

"We better get to class…but this conversation is far from over." And with that Mello left me alone in the bathroom with nothing but pitiful reflection staring back at me through the mirror.

...(TIME PASSES)…

My head kept drooping down while my eyelids felt as heavy as anvils. The hallway was spinning around me and each step I had to drag my feet out from under me as the narrow corridor seemed to get longer whenever I felt like I was actually getting somewhere. It has been like this all day. 'Where the fuck is my damned locker? Okay, that is the last time I ever take those fucking pills if it's gonna make my head spin like this.'

After a couple more minutes of aimless walking I was able to see the front door to the school. Just as I was about to jump up in down in joy at finally being able to leave this godforsaken hell hole I saw a certain leather wearing blonde person who shall not be named in fear of my heart shattering to a million pieces. But this time there was someone else with him. Both of the figures were standing right in front of some lockers that were located right by the front doors of the school.

The person standing in front of Mello was leaning back against said lockers twirling a piece of his unnaturally platinum blonde (practically white) hair between his thumb and index finger.

'What are Near and Mello doing?' but just as I was questioning their actions I saw Near practically leap forward. His usual blank and stoic manor was instantly replaced by some lust fueled beast. Near wrapped both of his boney arms around Mello's neck pulling him forward into a sloppy but sensual kiss. The shock in Mellos face was evident, but it didn't last. I could practically see the gears in Mello's head turning with a face that showed pure determination. Mello raised both of his hands bringing it up to Nears face , cupping his cheeks.

'….h-how…..why….Mello….'

Any coherent thoughts left my mind; all that was left was stuttering confusions. I couldn't move. My legs felt like noodles as the wobbled beneath my body ready to collapse at any given moment. I wanted to feel hurt, sad, or angry, but all I could feel was nothing. My entire body was as numb and lifeless as a corpse. I can't do this anymore.

'…no.'

I finally regained the use of my legs. I ran out of the school as if my life depended on it, and I'm pretty sure it did because I don't know what would have happened to me if a stayed one second longer. Each long hurried stride brought a fierce fiery pain onto my thighs. I ran right past the two boys making out right in front of the school doors making sure to not dare glimpse at the horrid sight.

The other students in the parking lot only stared as I sprinted out the schools doors and stumbled into my car while slamming the car door shut behind me. My breaths became more frantic and shallow as tears started to threaten to poor out. I started the car and got the hell out of there, and let's just say that my speed limit would have put some drivers at NASCAR to shame. I pulled up into the driveway of my empty house not daring to think about the past two days events as the car came to a halt. I dragged myself out of the car and made my way into my house. But just as I closed the front door today's events hit me harder than a deer in the headlights and before I knew it I had to lean back against the door for support.

The tears that I had been holding back since the end of the day came pouring out without warning, each tear stinging my eyes. My legs finally gave into the pressure that had been building up in them all day and I started to slowly slide down the door so that I was now curled up on the ground with only the door as support.

'I can't do this anymore…I give up' I don't know what was bothering me so much, but all I knew was that I didn't want to feel this way anymore. I needed to do something about it.

Even though my body was screaming at me to just give it a rest and just collapse on the ground and get some much needed sleep, I still started to move away from the door. I was in such a tragic and pitiful state that I got on all fours and started to crawl to get to where I wanted to go. I knew what I had to do next. I slowly made my way into the master bedroom on the first floor that wasn't to far away from my current position. I went into my parent's bathroom and eventually got up from the ground by using the sink to help me up.

'Here I am again, stuck staring at my wretched reflection in the mirror. I can't…'

I than began a frenzied search through my mom's cabinet's, and then I saw it. This time I could see my reflection closer up as a looked into the tiny sharp object in my hand. I held it between my thumb and index finger, and brought my other thumb up to the razor and slid it across to test its sharpness. I looked down at my thumb to see a small amount of blood start to pool out of the small sliver in my flesh.

"No…not enough" I whispered to myself as I brought the razor down again, and again, and again, and again until I saw four shallow horizontal cuts on my left forearm; reopening up old wounds that still held scars on my arms. Even though I saw crimson run down my arm, I still felt a gaping hole of nothingness gnawing at my insides.

"Still not enough!... you know what they say…horizontal for attention, vertical for results!" This time I screamed it, while tears started to stream down my face for the second time today. I then brought down the razor with even more pressure than last time onto my left arm creating a vertical cut reaching from the crease of my elbow to my wrist, and then quickly switched the razor to my left hand and repeated the same action to my right arm. And then I felt it. I caressed my wounds as the sweet release of tension came and the pain started to bleed out.

Just as I was beginning to enjoy the immaculate feeling of pain and release my body came crashing down from my high as I came to my knees and the blood began to come out in generous amounts, staining the white tiled floor red. My entire world began to come crashing down around me, and then it went black…again.

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed chapter 4!**

**Once again I'm sorry for any spelling mistakes **

**I will try to have chapter 5 posted ASAP**

**LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH**

**FEEL FREE TO LEAVE COMMENTS**

**The song I mentioned in this chapter is called _"Criminal"_ by _Britney Spears _originally, but personally I like the cover version by Eddie Razaz better. You can check out his version on youtube at this url : _ watch?v=0QZuEcU-2ZQ_**


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